Upside Down Expat Upside Down Mind

Fleeting Feelings: The Waiting Game


My series of ‘fleeting feelings’ are short articles based on some of the emotions and stages we go through as an expat. This one is about how moving overseas can often feel like the ‘big thing’ we’ve been waiting or working for and why we should never give up creating our own destiny.

I recently reflected, in the first few years of moving overseas and subsequently having our daughter, that I spent a long time reacting and adapting. The changes so sudden, significant and unplanned, I took a tumble down the rabbit hole landing somewhat bruised and confused on the Australian sand with a baby in my hands. Of course finding my feet with the sand between my toes is an enviable position to behold and I was also filled with elation, excitement and gratitude.  Yet still, at some point through it all, I started to believe, subconsciously, that life was happening to me. That I wasn’t in control of my destiny.

In hindsight, I think I was overwhelmed with my reality.  And sometimes when we feel out of our depth, on some level we decide it will be easier if we relinquish some responsibility. So instead of purposefully guiding our lives we decide we’ll just see what happens next. We wait. And while through the ebbs and flows of life there are times this approach might be necessary, as a long term strategy it can cause a great deal of anxiety. Take it from me. Because life still shifts and shapes around us but if we’re not doing the shifting we’re being dragged along or drifting; trying to mold ourselves into the world that surrounds us rather than molding the world to match our desires.

So I considered all my life-defining moments and how the really big, exciting and magical times seemed to come as a complete and random surprise. But they have a common denominator. Prior to any big shifts were periods of intention and acceptance; where I wasn’t resisting anything in my present but at the same time preparing for the things I wanted to see in my future. Importantly I wasn’t holding any preconceptions of how I thought my life ought to be. I was chipping away at the things I didn’t like while, overall (life’s never without its problems), enjoying my life.

And I believe that it all comes down to intention. Intent, accompanied with even just tiny steps, surrounded by an infinite space full of potential and possibility takes us to an, often better than we imagined, reality. But if we spend too long waiting to ‘see’, or worse holding onto an idea of how our life ought to be, how will we ever find and create our opportunity?

And so over the past year or so I’ve taken back control. I’ve set new goals. I no longer feel like life is happening to me. I once again feel in charge of my own destiny. And while I now know my intention and manifestation won’t always be exactly the same, for the first time in a long time, I can’t wait to see what amazing things come my way again.

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